This is my brain; its torturous, analytical thoughts make me go insane.

- Kate Nash

I really needed to rant tonight about something that really bothers me. I've been complaining about it for a couple weeks now. Those who know me know I'm a stickler for proper grammar; it's just a part of who I am.

I've always felt like anyone who speaks, writes and reads a language should know the rules of that language, and use them accordingly. Now, I understand that as we grow up, we make mistakes, we learn from them, we better ourselves. So, I'm ignoring teeny-bopper Ebonics for the sake of this one blog. (That may come later, after more research about it.) I'm also not including foreigners in this blog, because I know how difficult it is to grasp another language when one is comfortable with his own.

No, now I'd like to present to you the bane of my existence: middle-aged people with some sort of authority, (and to whom I pay money) who cannot use the English language properly, even if it is their first and only known language. More specifically, I'd like to rant about my new landlord, who can't seem to write a coherent email. Let's start with the email that has been bothering for a couple weeks now:

"Again - they may be there to the very end - since they are there now - but if they are out early - I will let you know - but don't count on it it seems"

Where to even begin? First of all, most of his emails consist of fragmented sentences, bad or non-existent punctuation, and often confusing statements. Luckily, this email I could understand. However, that does not excuse the use of hyphens to separate sentences and even clauses. This should just not happen. Ever. And it honestly bothers me that I'm going to pay this man - a man who can't be bothered to write properly - money every month. While I understand that he wasn't necessarily an English major, that does not excuse his poor grammar.

Furthermore, although I'm probably "just a student" in his eyes, that doesn't mean that I wouldn't care about how he writes his emails. Considering email is a widely acceptable form of communication in today's society, you would think that people would learn how to write properly, or at least hire someone who could.

So what do I do now? Well, to be honest, if he were my friend and not my landlord, I would correct his horrible abuse of hyphenation, and show him how to properly punctuate that last email. But I can't, obviously, because he's my landlord - not someone with whom I feel I can share my opinion. So instead, I now have to write him an email back (since he misunderstood me the first time I emailed him), make sure that my email is properly written, hope he gets the hint (which he won't), and anxiously await his reply. Which I'm sure will be riddled with under-capitalization, spelling errors, improper punctuation... and hyphens, of course. And here for your amusement, or so that you understand my position a little better, another one of his emails about free couches:

"Again - we have 2 free nice couches up for grabs - present tenants want them moved by this weekend = too nice to toss - but someone needs to claim & grab ASAP = before Sat."

Did I mention that he also really likes using "="? Particularly when they're not necessary, I've noticed. Am I the only one who cares anymore about grammar and maintaining the integrity of language? Please tell me I'm not.

And I'm singing uh-oh on a Friday night, and I hope everything's gonna be alright.