So she sang

- Tasjie

I have probably never had more of a desire to be mainstream than I do at this moment. I guess I should start at the beginning...

See, I love music, it really is my passion. My favourite thing ever to just sing, and it makes me so happy to do so. So keep that in mind with what's going on in this blog.

I like to write music. I have a lot of songs now, kinda. And yeah, they sound kinda depressing at times. I don't know what it is, I just can't seem to write songs that sound more upbeat. Maybe it's a combination of the way my voice sounds, the chords I chose, the content. They are always meant to be uplifting, and in a way they are. (Or so I've been told. I mean, that's the way I intended them to be.)

But I'll be the first to admit that some of them don't really have replay value and wouldn't be that popular. Others, though, people really seem to like. The new one I wrote last month "Love for the End is Near" people seemed to like, and even seemed a little surprised that I wrote it. But that makes me happy.

The thing is, I'm not really that great a performer, at least not solo. Maybe I was just way too nervous. Forgetting lyrics, chords, even sometimes from my own songs... Granted, this is the first time I've done something like this on my own. But I can't help feeling disappointed in myself for not just... being better I guess.

Which brings me back to the whole mainstream thing. Maybe if my songs were more of a mainstream value, then they might be better-liked, and I would have more confidence in playing and singing them. Or maybe it's just me being me, and there's no way I could improve it. I mean, when I play alone, not gonna lie, I sound amazing at times. I know I'm talented, and that I can put a song together (even if it sounds kinda sad), but when it's for other people it just all falls apart.

Like, when I'm performing with my family, it's different. We all work with each other so well, and even if one messes up, it's generally easily covered by someone else. And we sound so good together, because we're just a mass of talent. And I definitely feel ten times more confident being with them.

I guess what I would need to "get more experience." But honestly, half of me just wants to give up. Because sometimes I just feel like my songs are really worth it, and since I'm not even that great in concert, then why bother right? But the other half of me just loves music so much that I know I could never ever give it up. But for the moment, I feel like I might be done sharing, at least for a while.

At least I know I can always trust a Shure mic...


She may not be a superstar, she just be another girl. But she's still got that voice inside, the one that shows itself when she sings.