I want to be the things you see in me

- Tasjie

You know how sometimes you watch one of those sappy romance movies, where at some point he has to go away for whatever reason, and while they're saying goodbye she kisses him then just turns around and walks away, and then you're thinking, "That was bull! Go back there and give him a proper goodbye," and you think that you could never do that to someone you love?

Yeah well, I didn't think I would either, but I did. See, my fiancé, who still lives in the States, was up for a few days, and I had to take him to the bus eventually right? So I waited in line with him, then when I knew he would have to get on his bus, I kissed him, he said "I love you," and I whispered a barely-audible "I love you, too." Then I rubbed his chest a couple times, whispered and even less-audible "Bye," and just turned around and walked away.

I wish I hadn't done it, but it seemed like the best thing to do at the time. I'm tired of always having to say goodbye, and I don't like crying in front of him. But then after I walked away, I felt awful and even worse than I would have felt. I almost went back to him, but instead I walked to my car.

I'm lucky that I'm marrying someone like him, because he doesn't get angry or offended. He said he knows how I feel about him, and although it caught him off guard, he got over it. Which doesn't really make me feel any better about it, but it does make me feel better about him. If that's even possible.

The point here is that there will always be awful things you'll have to go through, and the only thing you can do is make the best of it. If you must say goodbye to someone, even temporarily, then you better make it the best goodbye you've ever done in your whole life. Also, it really helps to make sure that you tell that person how much you truly care for them and maybe throw in an extra hug and kiss.

You know them all so well, those things you see in me.

Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight...

- From "Sailor Moon"

So, I decided today that I wanted to make a series of posts about tv shows that I like/am currently interested in, to clear up my writer's block as I finish my future award-winning book. As a disclaimer, I'd just like to say that these are in no way reviews, they are rants, and they will most certainly contain spoilers. So turn back now if you HATE spoilers (and rants for that matter). If not, well then sit back and enjoy.

As you may have guessed, the first in my series is Sailor Moon. Oh Sailor Moon. There is so much to say here that I might end up with more than one post. Come to think of it, this will most likely happen for the other tv shows I plan on blogging about.

To start off, I'd just like to say that I've actually come to enjoy Sailor Moon. I wasn't going to go back and watch from the beginning, but then Gina started telling me all about it again and there I was... trying to make my way to episode 30, which I'll explain in a moment.

Secondly I'd like to say that I appreciate that this is originally Japanese, and to be fair, the voice acting is not half bad. But it really really bothers me whenever they talk about Tuxedo Mask and place the emphasis on "Mask." Like, whenever Sailor Moon sees him, she gets those big heart eyes, and says "Oh, Tuxedo MAAASSSK, you're HERE." Weird emphasis placement freaks me out a little, not gonna lie.

If you're anything like me, you will not get Tuxedo Mask at all. Because, come on, we all knew he was Darien by day. But like, in the first few episodes, Tuxedo Mask was like this romantic god-like hero, who was ALWAYS there whenever she was. But Darien was really just a jerk to her, and generally it was unprovoked. And then I would always ask myself why he was so mean to her. I mean, granted she's very annoying at the beginning, but generally she didn't even have to do anything before getting called "Meatball Head."

It starts to make sense after a while of course, when you realize that Darien honestly has no idea that he's Tuxedo Mask, or who he is at all. For the sake of romance, you ignore the HUGE age gap between Darien and Serena, and start wondering if they'll ever figure out who the other person really is. And if they will be together in the end.

Of course, throughout the show, the girls always have to be obsessed over some boy or another. Serena always has this ridiculous crush on Andrew (despite Tuxedo Mask's romanticness and heroness). And she just goes on and on, but there's like... no chemistry. And then at one point, she and Lita are both like fawning over him, even though he's got a girlfriend who's moving to Africa and... ugh! The whole thing. Andrew just seems like an unnecessary complication for Serena. It would have been better if they tried to put a little more back and forth between her and Darien, and then she'd be like, "I kind of hate Darien, but he's kinda cute, but I love Tuxedo MASK," and when she finds out they're the same person... poof! Instant success. But anyway...

By the time you get to episode 30, you pretty much know what's gonna happen, but it's fun watching the characters find out. In case you haven't seen it: Darien finds out Serena's Sailor Moon, and Serena finds out he's Tuxedo MASK. Also, she's the moon princess. But Luna, despite being a posh, talking cat, was too stupid to know it.

Oh, and they were lovers at one point, and pretty much are still in love. Sorry Sailor Mars, but you just weren't meant to be with Darien or Tuxedo Mask. (Did I mention they were kinda dating, which really bugged me because Raye kind of only did it to annoy Serena?) Anyway... Together forever, yay! Well of course, this is only a brief run-down of the first season.

So anyway, I haven't even really talked about the other Sailor Scouts, but I think that will have to wait for my next blog. So be looking for it!!

- Never running from a real fight, she is the one... Sailor Moon!

I'll be in my studio, studio

- Spongetta

Sorry to anyone who will have that in their heads for the next two weeks. At least it's better than... umm... uhh... well anyway, can't wait till Glee makes a version of it.

But seriously though, if you can't find me, I most likely would be in my studio. My studio being my bedroom of course. Let me tell you, my room has lousy acoustics. For anyone who's listened to my songs, you'll know I always use a least a little bit of reverb. I pretty much have to. Otherwise, it just sounds disgusting. Thanks to my sister and her husband, I have a great mic and recording program that I'm quickly learning to use.

(Ok, well that's kind of a half lie. When I first got the program, I kept asking Joel how to do like, everything, and he was like "read the manual, it's really helpful." And I tried to. I still couldn't figure it out. So I would call him and be all like, "Joel, I really just really need to know how to do this," and he'd sigh and walk me through it.)

So most mornings that I'm not working, I sit in my studio either practicing, recording, or posting snippets of me covering popular songs on my friends' facebook walls. I say "snippets" because facebook has never allowed me to post anything over 1:06, and usually has to be less than like 40 seconds, which is really barely enough time for a chorus. But I manage. Because my fans need me. Obviously.

Speaking of work... since everyone asks me all the time - yes I do enjoy it. Greatly. Other than feeling like I'm seriously developing a case of carpal tunnel from scanning books (my dad always says "Happy scanning!" whenever I leave for work), I really do like it. I think what I like most is seeing so many faces. Granted, some of them aren't very pleasant (and I'm not speaking physically). But a lot of them are really nice to me. I can't count how many times someone has called me sweet for offering to renew books that are due the next day, or just for telling them I liked their choice.

Technically, we're not really supposed to comment on things people take out. But sometimes people ask me if I've read/seen it, or get really excited and tell me how awesome it is, or why they're taking those things out, and then I'm socially obligated to comment back, but I always keep on the positive side so that I always make the library look good. Other times it's just really slow, and I'm desperate for conversation, so I'll say "that is a great choice, by the way," and that usually gets people talking.

Anyway, people are generally nice to me. (Sometimes the men are a little too nice to me. Whenever my co-workers notice, they'll say "Did you flash your ring at him?") So yes, I really do enjoy spending time at the library. And man, do I bring home a lot of books. Like a ton. More than I should really, since I always feel like I never have time to record music. But-but... I like books!!


Uh! Uh! In my studio, studio!

Open up those wings, you're gonna fly

- Joel Wright

Changed my template again...
Yes, I've gone back to a pinkish background. Deal. It's not that I like pink better than other colours. (My favourite colour is actually yellow, we all know that.) But pink just seems to suit me better I guess. Plus it's pretty!

I'M GETTING MARRIED!
Two weeks ago yesterday, my boyfriend proposed to me. And of course I said yes. I said it very quietly, but he heard it. And he knows how much I want to. While most of the time the future is very scary to me, I can be certain of one thing: I will get married to the man of my dreams. And I know we'll take care of each other. See? Much less scary.

Recording tip #1
A few weeks ago, I discovered that adding reverb to a song you've just recorded makes it sound ten times better and more professional. Even if it's barely noticeable, and even if it's a lot. Makes a huge difference. I think that's the one thing that every closet recording artist should know. I mean, yeah it should be good, and well-performed and all that. But reverb is really the key to making a listenable song.

The library
I work at a library. It's sometimes very tedious (trust me on this), and sometimes challenging (which is a good thing). But my favourite thing about it is the regulars. Just seeing them and knowing exactly what they'll bring back and take out. And I've only been there about two months, but most of them know my name. But they all at least know me. You can tell by the way they smile and greet me. I guess that's one of those things I've always wanted in a job.

Looks like I might be spending an American thanksgiving this year. That could be fun!

You'll never know what if unless you try to fly.

And they called it puppy love

- Donny Osmond

I'm only going to say this one more time. I am not by any means a die-hard Justin Bieber fan. I definitely think he sings songs that are too old for him, and I'm a little annoyed that he almost sings better in my range than I do.

But honestly, I am so sick of hearing people say "Oh, but when he grows up, his voice will change and he won't be able to sing anymore." Well, I'd just like to point out a few things. For one thing, men's voices are different than women's. If a man has got a voice, it will stay good pretty much till the day he dies, whereas women have to continuously work to keep a good singing voice after her younger years.

And for another thing... I challenge ANYONE to watch this
and tell me that Donny Osmond was not successful later in life because "his voice changed and couldn't sing after that."

Honestly, give the kid a break. He's not awful (pretty good actually, if you ask me) and if you really can't stand his songs, then for Heaven's sake, don't listen to them!

How can I tell them this is not a puppy love?

Who could ask for anything more?

- Ella Fitzgerald

Tonight's blog will be slightly random again; just getting out some thoughts. I am also somewhat hyper as you'll probably be able to tell from my writing. So here goes...


How not to be a loser

I have the most awesome family, awesome friends, an awesome boyfriend and pretty awesome roommates too. I mean, I got lucky with the types of people that influence my life. I just don't hang out with losers. It's pretty sweet, if you ask me. I mean... I couldn't ask for anything more. I can honestly say that I hang out with these people because I'm just naturally attracted to awesome people. And no, you won't convince me it's the other way around.

Racism

I realized today that I had no idea what racism was or that it even existed before being told that it was wrong. Do you see a problem with this? I do. You know what it is about racism that makes it even more apparent? It's the fact that we so often point out and discuss discrimination. The thing is that it shouldn't even be about discrimination, but rather distinction. The fact is, we make a distinction between different ethnic groups, genders and ages. WHY? I just don't get this.

Shouldn't a person's worth lie in what they're good at, what they can do? Or even just in the fact that everyone is human, everyone trips up, we are all the same. Distinctions should be made based on what a person is good at. And even then, we should recognize that every individual has potential in their lives. If you want my advice on stopping racism - and some people might chew me out for this - we should just stop discussing it, and start learning how to act like decent human beings who have respect for every person on God's Earth.

Showers

Do you ever have one of those moments in the shower where it's just so good to stand in the flowing hot water, and you never want to get out because you know then you'll have to face reality? Yeah? I'd say "join the club," but eventually someone will figure out we're the ones hogging all the hot water.

Essaying

My theory on essaying is that you should treat it like something fantastic - like an online flash game. Oh, we've all got our favourites. And I'm sure we could all agree that the best part of a flash game is seeing how high you can get your score. That's how it should be when writing an essay. Do the very best you can, try to get the highest score imaginable - and beat your friend's while you at it.

Learn to love it. Like you love flash games. Soon, you might find writing essays enjoyable and playing flash games a chore... Yeah, that sounded stupid in my head, too.


Hope you enjoyed tonight's random bloggage (to the extreme!). Have a nice night everyone and happy studying! (Just like a flash game, just like a flash game...)


I've got rhythm, I've got music. I've got my man...

So she sang

- Tasjie

I have probably never had more of a desire to be mainstream than I do at this moment. I guess I should start at the beginning...

See, I love music, it really is my passion. My favourite thing ever to just sing, and it makes me so happy to do so. So keep that in mind with what's going on in this blog.

I like to write music. I have a lot of songs now, kinda. And yeah, they sound kinda depressing at times. I don't know what it is, I just can't seem to write songs that sound more upbeat. Maybe it's a combination of the way my voice sounds, the chords I chose, the content. They are always meant to be uplifting, and in a way they are. (Or so I've been told. I mean, that's the way I intended them to be.)

But I'll be the first to admit that some of them don't really have replay value and wouldn't be that popular. Others, though, people really seem to like. The new one I wrote last month "Love for the End is Near" people seemed to like, and even seemed a little surprised that I wrote it. But that makes me happy.

The thing is, I'm not really that great a performer, at least not solo. Maybe I was just way too nervous. Forgetting lyrics, chords, even sometimes from my own songs... Granted, this is the first time I've done something like this on my own. But I can't help feeling disappointed in myself for not just... being better I guess.

Which brings me back to the whole mainstream thing. Maybe if my songs were more of a mainstream value, then they might be better-liked, and I would have more confidence in playing and singing them. Or maybe it's just me being me, and there's no way I could improve it. I mean, when I play alone, not gonna lie, I sound amazing at times. I know I'm talented, and that I can put a song together (even if it sounds kinda sad), but when it's for other people it just all falls apart.

Like, when I'm performing with my family, it's different. We all work with each other so well, and even if one messes up, it's generally easily covered by someone else. And we sound so good together, because we're just a mass of talent. And I definitely feel ten times more confident being with them.

I guess what I would need to "get more experience." But honestly, half of me just wants to give up. Because sometimes I just feel like my songs are really worth it, and since I'm not even that great in concert, then why bother right? But the other half of me just loves music so much that I know I could never ever give it up. But for the moment, I feel like I might be done sharing, at least for a while.

At least I know I can always trust a Shure mic...


She may not be a superstar, she just be another girl. But she's still got that voice inside, the one that shows itself when she sings.

And the love profusion you make me feel, you make me know

- Madonna


So I guess I haven't been around lately. In truth, I was in France from early September to Christmas, and at that time I wrote on my other blog, Travel 101. I'm not actually done with that one yet because a) I haven't really shared all the experiences I had in Europe, and b) I'm not quite done traveling. But for now, I'm back here, talking about who knows what, and saying whatever I like because, hey, it's my blog.

Today's blog will be kinda random because I just want to briefly share some things I've been thinking lately...

Sounds
Do you realize how much the voice is attached to identity? When you think of someone you're close to, you imagine their face, perhaps the way they are around you, and... you guessed it! Their voice. When I think of the friends I made in Europe, each one comes attached with their voice; its register, its timbre, its tone, its accent, and even the things the person would say. Auditory perception is so strong, yet subtle so we don't even realize it's happening.

For that matter, some sounds can be so familiar to us, they remind of us things we know or knew, places we love or don't. If you've ever been in the kitchen and all of a sudden the fridge stops buzzing, you'll know what I mean. How about the sound of swings in a playground? (This really takes me back, because I grew up with a schoolyard behind my backyard and I spent a lot of time there. I also happen to know that those swings produced a pitch that, as I swung forward, would slide from a Bb to an Ab.) Sounds - those sneaky little things that we didn't realize were even ingrained in our memories. It's so cool.

History
What's even the point of learning about it, if we just repeat it over and over?

Music
You all know how much I love music. I do. My favourite thing about it though is that there is something for everyone. Really. I'm not a fan of rap, you'll know this if you know me even a little. But apparently there are actually people who like it, and you know what? I'm cool with that. It really doesn't bother me, as long as you don't force it down my throat.

Everyone's tastes are different and everyone's styles are different. Justin Bieber. Yeah, he's 15 years old, he sings songs that are way too old for him, his voice will change one day, and he's currently a huge icon in the teeny-bopper culture. So what? Give the kid a break and let him have his 15 minutes, k?

Spring
I'd like to believe in the most magical, beautiful thing in the entire world, but come on. This is Southern Ontario. Spring means melting snow, which ultimately leads to slush, puddles, mud, muddy grass, and dead-looking lawns. Not to mention how much salt, cigarette butts and general garbage you can see left behind during the winter months. Thank goodness it eventually rains and washes all that crap away.

And then, there's the cold. Ah yes, flu season always seems to strike those enjoying the beautiful, ten-degree weather without checking to see that there wasn't a blizzard coming the next day. And then they're stuck in bed for a week. Which is awesome when you're a kid and it's ok if you miss class. Not so awesome when you're trying to graduate from university.

Seriously, the only good thing about Spring is... No, can't think of one single thing. Except maybe the end.


My lovely, faithful readers, thank you for stopping by once again.

I've got you under my skin, I've got you under my skin.